芸外　- Gei Guy dot com

So, I just got back to Houston from Los Angeles and I’m still processing the epic-ness of what I recently experienced. The original title for this post was going to be “OMGWTF I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M ACTUALLY TALKING TO KAMEI KILL ME NOW SO THAT I CAN DIE HAPPY!” but, for the sake of brevity I changed it to what you see above. For those of you who don’t know, I recently went to LA to see one of my favorite groups モーニング娘。performing for the first time in America at Anime Expo 2009. To say that it was amazing would be a ridiculous understatement so I will save you the pain of hearing yet another person’s account of how wonderful it was.

…

Okay, no I won’t. But, where to begin?! As most of you that care have no doubt already heard the concert and panel discussions I’ll go ahead and skip those (I missed the panels anyway, lol). So no set list breakdown or descriptions of dance moves and costumes from the show here (although a jumping bloomers shot on big screen in RL from Sayu is totally worth mentioning considering a certain poll I recently took part in). Instead I’m going to focus on the real reason I was so excited to go in the first place: the autograph session. Now, I’m not the kind of person that gives two shits about an autograph and as much as I cherish these signatures I’ll probably eventually lose them anyway so I don’t mind saying that they aren’t incredibly important to me (I’m actually considering mailing them to a certain vodka-breathed web companion who would probably cherish them a lot more and certainly deserves them). No, moreso than the little squiggly lines that they each scribbled on my merch (which are hellishly cute, I admit) I was interested in the visceral human experience I was about to gain. I was interested in connecting personally with each of the members in a meaningful way. And so, the following is my account of the signing session presented member by member. I need to commit this to print while it’s still fresh in my memory…

まずは、田中れいな：

First up was Reina. I handed over my P9 booklet opened to her page. She gave an emphatic “HIIII!” to which I responded with a very boring “Tanaka-san, konnichiha!” Her sig is one of my faves and she was totally genki the whole time. She even gave an attitude filled 「あり がとう」 (Thanks!) complete with yankee accent at the end. It was awesome.

I remember thinking after everything was said and done that I may actually be able to relate most easily to Reina in RL. She seems pretty … approachable.

Unfortunately, right when I was about to explain to her how much coverage her facial configuration gets amongst my friends I was moved along to the next member…






ィンィン：

What can I say? Lately, LinLin has been crawling slowly but surely up my faves list and this concert just kinda sealed the deal for me. She’s just so fucking 元気 (genki, cheerful), you know? That coupled with the fact that she and JunJun, the two Chinese members, are the best English speakers of all of them just rockets her on up.

I told her, “英語は 上手ですね、ィンィン！” (Your English is great, huh LinLin!) to which she replied, “あ！そ うですか？日本語上手ですよ！” (Really? Well, your Japanese is great!).

She complimented my Japanese! What a gal! So kind of her to lie!








次は、高橋愛：

Tettekete was one of the least talkative of the group for me. But, she balanced this with otherworldly beauty. I mean, this girl is totally fucking gorgeous. Seriously.

It was at this point that I first thought to myself, “Man, is this really happening?!” Then the real world pushed me along to the next member, which was…










新垣 里沙：

Gaki-san, in the flesh. What can be said about Gaki-san that isn’t already known. A real pro-level talent. As I handed her my booklet I said, 「ちょっと緊張してますよ。」 (I’m kinda nervous)
Her reply was 「え？大丈夫ですよ、本当に！」 (Really? Don’t be nervous, everything’s cool, really!).
Then she gave me a big, cheeky smile and wrote up the baddest ass signature of the bunch.

But, on the subject of Gaki-san (and forgive me for saying) she was way too skinny! I mean, she has grown into such a beautiful young woman. I know that idols and models are always under extreme pressure to be thin, but she’s like TOO thin in my opinion. It’s like Yossie mode or something.

Dear Gaki-san, have some katsu-don. It’s good for you!


光井 愛佳：

Nothing much to report on Aika. She just signed and smiled fairly hurriedly. Meh














久住 小春：

If memory serves correctly (which it may not, admittedly) Koha was next. Meeting Koha was everything I would have expected to experience meeting a living, breathing cartoon. Her face is permanently fixed in an intensely cute smiling configuration. I bet when she farts the word 「ブ～」 pops out of her ass. I was half expecting wacky music to begin playing when she started signing.

I gave her an excited 「こはちゃん、こんいちぱ！」 (Koha-chan, konnichiPA!) to which she replied 「は～い！」.
It wasn’t much of a conversation, but it was everything I expected from her.

After the signature, she gave the obligatory 「ありがとうございます」 but it was a much more cartoonish rendition.




道重 さゆみ:

Sayu was a trip! I actually managed to confuse the hell out of her, LOL! It really wasn’t very difficult. It started quite normally: my little booklet was passed along to her and I gave her the usual, 「道重さん、こんにちは！」
She returned my greeting and began signing my booklet. Up until now, all the girls used black ink, but Sayu was using a silver marker, so I said, 「あ！シルバですか？」 (Oh, silver is it?).
She looked up at me bewildered and said, 「え？」.
I got a little nervous and said, 「そのペンは銀色ですね。」 (Your pen there is silver, ne?)
She looked over at one of the assistants and said 「このペンはだめですか？」 (He doesn’t like this pen?).
The assistant then looked at me and asked “Did you want a different color?” and I was like 「いやいやいや！ぜったい大丈夫ですよ！」 (NO NO NO, not at all!)
Lol, I felt like such a tool and explained in English to the assistant that I was just commenting on the nice silver pen she chose. Luckily, Sayu laughed about it and just said, 「すみません！ありがとうございます。」 (Sorry! Thanks!)

Lol. What an epic fail on my part, eh?

Did I mention that she was fucking hot as hell? Way hotter in person than anything I’ve ever seen in print or on the web. I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder if your panties are also silver Sayu-chan. I bet they are aren’t they you little minx.” I’m sorry, but I just can’t help these thoughts when it comes to Sayu.

ジュンジュン：

Last in line was sex kitten, I mean, JunJun. I told her that her English was also great (in Japanese of course) and she answered me with a “thank you” in English.

I almost asked her if I could smell her, but common sense prevailed.












And there you have it! Wait, what? I’ve forgotten someone? Oh no, I’ve merely saved the best for last…

亀井 絵里：

I should explain a couple things about Erien to preface this next experience so that you understand how epic it was for me. First of all, Eri is my favorite member of the current line-up. She pretty much has been since she came on board. As soon as I learned that she enjoyed being in small spaces I was hooked. Eri is everything I want in an idol and in a girl in general; she’s hilarious, insane, shy at first, has weird interests, is adorably cute, and sexy as hell. And she looks awesome with a boyish look. She’s a lot like me, really. So, meeting her was pretty much the big moment for me.

Anyway, for those of you who weren’t there, the line for the signing was one really long line and then people were let in one at a time to the tent to wait in a smaller line of five or so people leading up to the tables. So, I walk in and immediately I see Kamei. And here’s where being an incredibly tall freak really pays off. She notices me and totally looks right at me smiling and mouths the word “hi” at me.

<blinks>

Wait a second. Did Kamei Eri … THE Kamei Eri … just … flirt with me? Now, I realize that I may be getting a little ahead of myself, but still, I’ve had girls do that to me before and ended up in bed with them. Sure it’s usually at strip clubs and yes I end up paying them, but still. I’d say that’s a little bit epic that I got it from Kamei. Hey, fuck you guys. This is my experience and you can’t take it away from me.

So anyway, I finally get to Kamei at the table and by then I’m freaking out. She smiles up at me and takes my little booklet to sign…

Me: 今どき どきするよ。 (My heart is throbbing right now)
亀井： <looks up all doe-eyed the way only Eri can and in her cutest voice says:> なんで どきどきするの？ (Why would your heart be throbbing?)
Me: だーだー大好きだから。亀井さんは一番好きなメンバです。 (be- be- because I love you (lit.). You’re my favorite member.)
亀井： <says nothing; just smiles up at me wryly and giggles as she signs my stupid little CD booklet>

I mean, … wow. God damn if this short exchange wasn’t the greatest fucking moment of my life. It doesn’t even sound all that amazing when I read it, but it SO was. I mean, the way she looked up at me like, “Yeah, I bet. You are putty in my hands, gaijin.” It was so fucking awesome I can’t believe it. I mean, I got teased by Eri! HA!

<sigh>

Kamei, you will always be in my dreams now god damn it. I hope you’re happy. I know I am.

So anyway, there’s my story. I guess it kinda reads like a smut mag at times, but hey. I’ll follow up later with a post on impressions of AX and anime culture in general along with some other interesting things I experienced in L.A. I just needed to get this posted ASAP. Hope people enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed experiencing it. Actually, there’s no fucking way that’s possible. lol. But still, hope it’s a fun read. Catch you next time!

Tags: AnimeExpo, hello project, Henkka, japanese idol, kamei eri

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 11:39 pm by delrey28 and is filed under H!P, Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.